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Does God Choose Mates?

I love this article.  It has given me so much insight in GOD leading you to your mate, not choosing him/her for you.   I am one of those Christians that believed that GOD chooses your mate for you, when in actuality, with all things, he gives us the will to choose life or death.  HE doesnít even force us to love him.    But GOD will lead you to life, if  our eyes are focused on HIM.

My problem was that I allowed (my) flesh to encourage my choosing in the case of my ex-husband and the last relationship.  As I look back, my influence with these men had nothing to do with my growth in God.  My ex-husband wanted me to marry him because he had just found out that his father was not his biological so marrying me would fill the void.  We talked about marriage before, but it was all for selfish gain.  Wrong motive! We suffered from it the whole way through- If I didnít satisfy his need in any way, he would leave and be with another woman.  We have two wonderful children that I raise solely without any help from him- but GOD is faithful in that HE gives me strength to endure.

I think with the last relationship, I was so yearning for a husband that I took what seemed attractive and nice.  HeckÖ he helped me with the kids from time to time, not much but I thought unbuckling seat belts and bringing them in the house was gold- HE didnít do too much more.  I was not at all interested in whether GOD approved of this union.  I just wanted him so bad(ly).

Pretty much everything that he did and wanted was opposite of GODís word- for instance, wanting me to have his babyÖ without ever discussing marriage, let alone me not being sure if we were in a serious relationship.  He was demanding, critical of everything, and even told me that he has to be hard on me.  He even mentioned that I didnít stroke his ego. I could believe that when I tried to satisfy is every request.   If I remember the scriptures on marriage, GOD does not command the husband to be hard on his wife.  He command(s) the husband to love his wife as himself and as Christ loves the church that he gave HIS life for it.  Hmmm!  I am so thankful for the word of GOD now.   

Yes, I believe that GOD does not choose your mate for you but will lead you to the right person for you if you are willing to hear and accept what HE is showing you.  I do ask of GOD for certain qualities in my mate, I do want him to be a man after GODís own heart (this would cover honesty, humbleness, loyalty, etc. all the fruits of the spirit- Galations 5:22) financially obedient and smart, tall, attractive to me, athletic and loves my children as his own.  If you abide in Me, and My words abide in you, ask whatever you wish, and it will be done for you. John 15:7 

I thank you again and will be watching your site for more great stuff about GOD!

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Here is my reply to this reader:

Hi Sis. Y,
 
First, I'd like to apologize for my late response.  I've been busy and also out of town.
 
Anyway, it's good to know that the article was a blessing.  Even though you didn't specify what article you were referencing,
I'm assuming you must be referencing the "Does God Choose Mates" article.  Right?
 
Needless to say, that when it comes to choosing a mate, the first thing to look for is to make sure the person is a Born-Again Christian who truly loves the Lord, and walking uprightly, as much as in him/her lies.  If a person loves the Lord, his/her love for the Father will keep him/her from doing certain things, misusing/mistreating you, for instance. 
 
Often times,  when we look for mates we look for people who love us, rather than people who love the Lord, which is a very big mistake.  Look for someone who truly loves the Lord, and you won't have to worry about the person loving you. Because the Love of the Father compels the person to love you, even when the person doesn't want to.
 
For instance, left to me, there are certain things I'm capable of doing against my wife.  But my love for the Father wouldn't let me.  I do not want anything that will hinder my fellowship with the Father. So, I have to treat her right, even when I don't feel like it.
 
Again, thanks for your comments.
 
Blessings to you.